


My true mate

by zation



Series: True Mates [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidents, Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Both John and Mary are alive and wonderful, Bottom Cas, Dean and Cas hit rough patch, Frottage, Frustration, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mating Bond, Omega Castiel (Supernatural), POV switch, Pining Cas, Prompt Fic, Sad Cas, Some angst, Tags May Change, Temporary Amnesia, Top Dean, ability to change into wolf form, feelings of betrayal, or is he? (¬‿¬), seemingly cheating Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-02 11:49:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19198189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation
Summary: Original prompt (summarized):Cas is an Omega and loves his Alpha, Dean Winchester, more than anything. They've been together for some time and always supports each other, no matter what and lives together. It wasn't easy to get mated the first time due to Dean originally being interested in a Beta female but they made it. Cas has recently finished College and Dean works as a mechanic. Something happens that tests their love for each other but after a few intense ups and downs they make it through, stronger than ever!Or,The one where a little amnesia isn’t going to hold neither Cas nor Dean back from getting their true mate.





	1. The past and the present

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZarauthForsaken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZarauthForsaken/gifts).



> Okay, heads up! This fic will be part of a two-part series, where the second installment will be a continuation of this fic. This is because I received two separate prompts from the same person (at the same time), and after discussing it I decided to make it into a series rather than just one fic. 
> 
> So for now, let’s see if Dean and Cas can overcome a true test of their love! ❤

 

 

“And I mean, I like Cain as much as the next guy but does he have to make his assignments so philosophical?”

Castiel barely listens as his friend Chuck goes on about the assignment for their English literature class. In reality he kind of agrees, though he’s not one to complain, but for the moment his mind is too occupied with other things.

Because there, on the other side of the quad and bathing in the late summer sunlight is Dean Winchester. The Alpha is of course surrounded by friends, every one of them seemingly frightening in that way popular people always seem scary to the lower tier people. Castiel feels his inner Omega whine and he averts his eyes when Dean laughs and slings his arm around a beautiful brown-haired woman.

Lisa Braeden.

Castiel’s inner Omega bares its fangs just at the thought of her name. She’s everything Castiel is not, beautiful and successful, smart and funny. And Dean’s girlfriend.

Ever since Castiel had been a little pup he had always had a habit of switching into his wolf form when his emotions got the better of him, which during his formative years had been most of the time, and even now he has to fight the urge. He might be a dewy-eyed college freshman but he most often feels far from grown up.

“Are you okay, you, uh…” Chuck obvious tries not to scrunch up his nose and Castiel feels horrified when he realizes he’s lost control of his emotions so much that even a Beta can smell it.

“Just upset over the assignment I guess,” he stammers and ducks his head when he sees Chuck glance over at Dean and his assembled friends.

“You know what? Let’s got to the cafeteria, we have time and I want some coffee, let me treat you.”

The offer doesn’t make Castiel feel better, in fact he feels even worse that his friend even thinks he has to cheer him up.

Lifting his head, he tries to smile. “Thank you but really, I’m fine…” he tapers off when a loud sound drowns out Chuck’s answer. Something flashes across his friend’s face, almost like the white light of spotlights, and Castiel turns his head just in time for the same light to blind him.

 

 

Castiel feels disoriented and when he has finally blinked the whiteness out of his eyes he’s sitting in a booth at the Roadhouse, the local bar and restaurant, enjoying a beer. It’s not his usual drink but he likes this one, _Zlatopramen_ the owner Ellen had called it and she’d winked at him as she slid it over the counter. Imported beer was usually a little more expensive but Castiel thought it was worth the money.

Even though he likes the Roadhouse it’s not really his scene, he’d only come because his big brother Gabriel was in town and had wanted to go out for a drink, absolutely refusing to go to one of the bars on campus. Gabriel is what Castiel’s mom would have called “a free spirit” if she had lived long enough to watch her sons grow up. Their dad calls Gabriel “a good-for-nothing bum”, which is why whenever Gabriel comes to town he sneaks into Castiel’s dorm room and sleeps in his wolf form on a doggy bed Castiel has bought for that exact reason.

At the moment Gabriel is somewhere in the throngs of people out on the extremely small and always packed dance floor and Castiel doesn’t even want to know what is going on in that heap of sweaty bodies. His Omega senses are already overflowing with the scents of all the people in here and he’s on the verge of leaving when someone unceremoniously plops down on the seat opposite his.

“Hey, are you gonna hog this booth all night?”

Castiel freezes as he sees Dean Winchester. “Uh…” oh what fresh hell is this?

Dean’s nostrils flare and he gives Castiel a ravishing grin. “Hey, aren’t you that Cas kid in Cain’s class?”

Castiel swallows slowly. “Do you know the professor?”

Dean shrugs, sees someone he knows and waves enthusiastically, and then turns back to Castiel. “Took his class one semester, he teaches Philosophy 101, you know?”

Castiel wasn’t really aware but that would explain why Cain’s assignments always seemed so elaborate. Hadn’t Chuck said something about that? In any case that doesn’t explain why Dean knows about Castiel and when he says so Dean’s scent actually changes to something akin to embarrassment and the Alpha rubs the back of his neck, chuckling to himself.

“I, uh, I might’ve noticed you around,” he looks up, eyes flashing in the poor lighting and Castiel feels his inner Omega reaching for the Alpha. “Does that sound creepy?”

Castiel is just about to open his mouth, his whole being filled with a great sense of accomplishment, but then Dean’s friends kind of materializes beside their booth and Lisa drops into Dean’s lap. Castiel jolts back but he can’t hear what any of them are saying. There’s a strange background sound, a kind of rushing that drowns out everything else.

But he can see clearly, though. Yes, thanks to a sharp white light he can see in exact detail how Lisa grabs Dean’s chin and turns the Alpha’s head so that they can kiss. Dean smiles into it and his scent blooms with joy so sharp it stings. Castiel turns around, the white light thankfully blinding him.

 

 

Next time Castiel and Dean talk it’s Castiel who finds Dean and it’s just as much a coincidence as last time. The early spring weather is as unpredictable as usual and by the time Castiel reaches the bus stop he’s drenched head to toe from the sudden downpour. He shakes his head but in the end he has to resort to combing his hair back using his fingers.

“You should use your wolf form when you get caught in the rain.”

He looks up and sees Dean Winchester slouched on the tiny bench in the bus stop. The Alpha is grinning up at him and Castiel returns a shaky smile of his own.

“Can’t carry my bag as a wolf,” he mumbles shyly. A vastly superfluous statement as Dean of course already knows this. One of the first things taught to little kids when they first start developing their shapeshifting abilities is that yes, your clothes shift with you and no, things you carry at the moment does not.

“That’s what your mouth is for, doofus,” Dean laughs, tucking his hands in the pockets of his large leather jacket.

“I suppose so,” Castiel smiles and perches on the end of the bench when Dean scooches over to give room. The proximity to the Alpha is heating up Castiel’s body so much that he doesn’t even feel the cold anymore and he desperately fishes around his large brain for something interesting to say.

“You should keep your hair like that always.”

He whips around his head. “Huh?”

Dean grins, cheeks heating a little and his scent turning a bit shy in a way Castiel most definitely finds himself enjoying.

“Just saying you look good with it slicked back ‘s all.”

Castiel feels his inner Omega trill with satisfaction but before he can come up with something smart to answer, they’re interrupted by the bus arriving. And Cas didn’t even get to ask why Dean is riding the bus when he has the coolest car Castiel has ever seen.

As he opens his mouth to ask about that, the bus makes the last turn to their stop and Castiel has to shield his eyes against the strong headlights but he’s too late.

 

 

He blinks his eyes rapidly, dispelling the white splotches that all but eliminated his field of vision a moment ago.

“Are you alright, little Omega?”

Castiel smiles at Mick Davies, a very handsome and nice Beta he’s been chatting with for the last hour. The Roadhouse is packed, even more so than usual since it’s the end of the school year and everyone has something to celebrate. Castiel has even seen some of his professors and he is has kind of trying to be on his best behavior since he’s probably going to study under most of them next year too.

“I think I drank a little too fast,” he smiles wider than normal and feels his inner Omega nod at him. Yes, he’s definitely looser than usual but not in a losing-control kind of way. Just tipsy and happy, which is saying a lot considering the mood he had been in when Chuck had dragged him over to the Roadhouse in the first place.

And all of course because of Dean Winchester. By now the Alpha was starting to feel like the bane of Castiel’s existence because on the one hand he knew he needed Dean, like _needed_ him, and at times it seemed as if the Alpha knew and felt the same. On the other hand, Dean remained faithful to the Omega Lisa Braeden and Castiel had caught them making out more times than his heart could take.

Even worse, when he had eventually confided in Chuck, his friend had smelled so sad it had almost made Castiel choke.

“Shit, Cas,” he had said, putting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and squeezing hard. “I think he’s engaged to his girlfriend, I heard him telling someone named Sam on the phone.”

That was a month ago and Castiel still hasn’t gotten over it and how can he? When Dean keeps constantly popping up everywhere Castiel goes as if drawn by some kind of magnet, keeps complimenting Castiel, keeps trying to be his friend. God, if Castiel only could settle for being Dean’s friend, that would be so much easier…

“In that case, maybe we should get you out of here,” Mick suggests, his gentle murmur bringing Castiel back to the present.

He looks at the Beta, smiles a bit when Mick puts a hand on his knee because it doesn’t feel intrusive, doesn’t feel forced or suggestive. Mick seems like a genuinely nice guy who just wants to make sure Castiel doesn’t pass out in the bar.

“Yeah,” he murmurs back, his voice definitely dripping of something more and by the looks Mick either picks up on Castiel’s scent or his tone. His eyes widen and Castiel can smell even his muted Beta scent blow out with arousal.

That feels nice, to be desired. Mick might have the wrong eye color, a smaller build, be the wrong subgender, but in return he’s handsome, kind, has a sexy British accent. And he’s here. He’s looking at only Castiel, chose to sit by the Omega even though Castiel had been far from fun at the beginning of the evening. Mick can have his pick of everyone available in the Roadhouse tonight and yet he gets to his feet to gently help Castiel stand, hand steady on Castiel’s lower back as he leads him out into the cold night air.

They end up kissing against the wall that faces the parking lot, Castiel a bit unsure of how they ended up there instead of inside Mick’s car but he doesn’t mind. Actually when Mick tries to pull away Castiel finds himself whining for him to come back.

Mick chuckles and the sound is so pleasant Castiel finds himself arching his back and grabbing at the Beta’s shirt to hold him in place as they kiss again.

“Come on, Omega,” Mick mumbles, kiss-swollen lips brushing against Castiel’s throat as he speaks. Castiel is hard and his hole is already slick, ready to accept the Beta inside him. “You’re pushing my limits, let me take you home before I assault you.”

Castiel moans, high and unabashedly in his intoxication. “I want that,” he pants, wrapping a leg around Mick’s hip to pull him closer so they can grind together. “I want you, Mick.”

“Damn, Castiel,” Mick groans, nipping lightly at Castiel’s smooth skin. “I’m only in town over the weekend, I’m probably never returning. I don’t want you to think I’m—”

“No I know,” even through the fog of his earlier drinks Castiel remembers the Beta telling him about his business trip. “I know this is all it can be and it’s fine.”

Mick puts his arms around Castiel’s back, hugging him tightly as he pulls his face away from Castiel’s racing pulse so that their eyes can meet.

“It’s only Friday, we have time,” he says, eyes a little blown from his lust and Castiel can clearly feel how hard the man is for him. And yet he’s holding off, probably because of how drunk Castiel is, and the gesture is so sweet Castiel is overwhelmed with want for the man, for this man to be his mate and not Dean.

Dean, who goes around kissing Lisa. Dean, who looks at Castiel as if he’s about to say something, eyes seeking the Omega out and scent on the cusp of revealing something. Dean, who pulls away before Castiel even has the chance to reach out.

“Omega,” Mick’s urgent tone snaps Castiel out of his thoughts and when he meets the Beta’s gaze again he founds the man’s eyes filled with worry. He’s also stepped back a little, their bodies not entwined anymore and Castiel feels lonely even with Mick’s hands on his arms. “Are you okay?”

“Mick… I-I need,” in the back of his mind Castiel picks up on the sound of voices and people coming closer. “I need you tonight, I don’t want to make this into a thing, you said so yourself.”

“Well I would hardly call waiting until we’re both sober a _thing_.”

The voices are getting louder. There is also an insistent sound added now and Castiel associates it with the approaching crowd but doesn’t think that’s an accurate assumption.

Castiel pulls the Beta closer again, breath hot against Mick’s ear. “Please? I need to make a stupid drunken mistake; I need to wallow in self-pity. I need you to help me.”

The voices are almost here, some of them are already visible around the corner. The insistent sound is louder.

“Shit, Omega,” Mick murmurs, obviously overtaken by Castiel’s scent, which is ripe with desperation and arousal. “How would us having drunk sex help you?”

“Because I’m suffering from unrequited love and I need you to fuck me so I can feel desirable.”

The voices fall quiet and both Castiel and Mick turn their heads when they hear several gasps. Dean Winchester stands there with his arm around Lisa’s shoulders, staring straight at the two of them. The insistent sound is so loud Castiel doesn’t hear when Dean’s entourage starts laughing at him and when a girl who stands beside Lisa points at him he turns around to vomit and is hit right in the face with a flash of white light.

 

 

Castiel is running at a comfortable pace, his wolf body in great shape as he makes his way through the forest. He’s always loved the track that’s close to campus, the forest lush and quiet despite being so close to the city life. At this time of day there are not many people out either and Castiel enjoys the illusion of solitude.

It’s nippy outside, the October weather more forgiving than normal but still showing signs of the oncoming winter. Castiel is grateful for his sleek coat of fur, so dark brown it almost looks black unless the sun hits him just right, and the warmth it provides him.

After a couple of more laps around the track he decides to call it for today, feeling good and tired and longing for a shower. He stays in wolf form as he exits the forest, trotting slowly to campus, head already filled with plans for his upcoming study session with Chuck. They have an exam coming up in English literature and Castiel’s been far from a good student as of late.

His thoughts turn unbidden to the events at the Roadhouse. They feel as if they happened just yesterday but that’s probably just because his inner Omega still hasn’t completely recovered. And how could it? With the memory of Lisa and her snobby friends laughing at him, of Dean just standing there, still as a stone statue and staring at Mick and Castiel.

Castiel has no memory of how he got home but he’d later found a note in his pocket from Mick. He feels bad for the Beta even now and he’s happy Mick had returned to the UK, never to be heard of again. Although if Castiel is completely honest he kind of regrets not taking the Beta up on his suggestion they take it slow and meet again the next day. Sometimes he lies awake thinking about how easy it could have been if he had just been in love with someone like Mick instead but it’s not for him and thoughts like that are useless. At least that’s what his inner Omega tells him.

As he closes in on the quad outside the campus living quarters he spots a large group of people, some in wolf form and some human. It’s mostly females so it’s easy to notice Dean even if Castiel hadn’t been so enamored with the Alpha.

Against his better judgement he comes to a halt, watching the group. At this distance he wouldn’t have been able to smell or hear them if he hadn’t been in wolf form and in any case what they are doing doesn’t have anything to do with him and he’s got no business listening in. And yet he can’t stop himself.

Lisa is clearly bragging to her friends about Dean but unlike most Alphas, Dean seems uncomfortable.

“Winchester?” one of the many women says with an interested tone. “As in the _Winchester Arms_ Winchesters?”

Dean ducks his head, shoulders hunching in. “Lots of people are named Winchester,” he mumbles and Lisa hurries to laugh over his words, arm snaking around Dean’s as she waves away his answer.

“Dean’s father is a Marine,” she says with an air of importance and the group both _oo_ ’s and _aa_ ’s but Dean just looks even more uncomfortable.

Castiel watches the group for a while longer, trying to deduce what is making the Alpha act this way. It’s the sight of Lisa’s engagement ring that prompts him to start moving again. So far he hasn’t seen a mating bite on her neck but he has also not been close enough to be certain. And for that matter a lot of people wait with the mating until they are properly married, the old animal tradition coming second to the newer human ones.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when he rounds a corner and finds that Lisa and Dean have left the group. Obviously they took a different route than him and now they’ve ended up walking almost alongside him. He flattens his ears back and quickens his pace a little, not enough to get noticed but hopefully enough to get away from them even though they seem to be headed in the same direction.

“I wish you wouldn’t talk like that,” Lisa is saying to Dean, who looks anything but happy.

“What the hell is wrong with admitting that I’m not associated with some fancy family? And don’t go talking about my dad as if he’s some kind of hero.”

“Well excuse me,” Lisa sounds mightily displeased. “I just happen to think your father is a good man and he deserves recognition.”

“Then why don’t you marry _him_?” Dean mutters under his breath, too low for Lisa to hear but Castiel picks it up clear as day and he lifts his head to look straight at Dean before he can stop himself.

Lisa keeps talking about Dean needing to learn some manners but Dean has looked down as if drawn in by Castiel’s gaze and when the Alpha’s eyes meet his, Castiel can’t help but stop in his tracks. Dean walks a few paces more but eventually stops too, much to Lisa’s annoyance.

“What are you doing? We’re gonna be late.”

“ _You’re_ gonna be late,” Dean snaps but immediately seems to catch himself when Lisa pulls away, face full of indignation. “I didn’t mean it like that,” the Alpha mumbles, his scent ripe with remorse. “Just that you’re the one who wants to go to this brunch thing, maybe you could go without me?”

Lisa opens her mouth, seemingly to give Dean a piece of her mind but she clearly thinks better of it and ends up just stomping away. Dean sighs and puts his hands in his pockets, rubbing his boot against the gravel for a moment before looking at Castiel again.

“I’m gonna get my ear chewed off later,” he sighs again. “Anyway, what are you doing here, Cas? Don’t you have class with Cain now?”

Castiel startles because yes he does and how does Dean know but also, how does Dean know it’s him? He doesn’t think he’s ever shown Dean his wolf form. Maybe the Alpha can smell him? He tilts his head to the side, regarding Dean for a moment and this brings a smile to the man’s face. Castiel’s heart throbs dully at the sight, his inner Omega crooning about how handsome the Alpha is. Tall and broad-shouldered Dean is what anyone would call virile and yet with Lisa he had walked without his usual confident stride, posture all but resigned.

Or maybe Castiel is just imagining things, inserting his own wants and wishes into reality.

Dean suddenly walks closer, crouching down. “I can smell you, Cas,” he murmurs, his voice pleasant to Castiel’s senses. “There’s something about your scent… it’s special, you know?” Castiel does know, he knows very well, and his scent blows out even more at hearing Dean admit something like this. Dean grins widely at him. “Listen, I’m kinda bummed about a lot of shit and I, I dunno, I wanna hear about why you… I mean that thing with that British guy was…” Dean looks up, eyes intense as they pin Castiel to the ground. “Can we talk?”

In that moment Castiel wants nothing else. He rises to all fours, shaking his body in anticipation of a run and gives Dean a significant LookTM before he takes off running, hoping the Alpha will understand him. And to his immense joy Dean isn’t far behind him a few seconds later, Castiel’s inner Omega euphoric about having his Alpha giving chase so freely.

In many ways this might be the best moment of his life, in all other ways he’s overcome by a white light and gets so disoriented he doesn’t know up from down.

 

 

“It’s my dad, Cas,” Dean is saying, tone desperate.

Castiel at first doesn’t know where he is but then he recognizes his dorm room. He’s standing in the middle of it, talking with Dean on the phone. Were his walls always this white?

“He’s pushing me to do this, okay? And I mean, Lisa is a great person and her scent is fine. It’s… it’ll be fine.”

Castiel opens his mouth to answer and he feels his mouth moving but no sound comes out, what is going on?

“I know, it’s not fair to any of us,” Dean mutters, obviously in response so Castiel supposes he managed to speak correctly anyway. Maybe he just couldn’t hear it over that rushing sound, what is that anyway?

“I mean, if I could choose… but that’s not the point, I think we should stop seeing each other okay? The longer I spend time with you the more confused I get and I mean I lo–lik–everything is _fine_ with Lisa so I shouldn’t fuck it up, right? I don’t want to disappoint everyone and…”

Castiel has to say _something_. Dean is clearly leaving him but he doesn’t understand why. Aren’t they supposed to be mates? Castiel’s inner Omega tells him that anyway. But yet again no words come out. The white of his dorm room walls is blinding him and that rushing sound is so loud, how doesn’t Dean hear it over the phone?

“Her family is rich, Cas,” Dean mumbles then, cutting off Castiel’s silent protests. “I shouldn’t drop the ball on a chance like that, right? Don’t be the fuck up I usually am, right?”

Dean is clearly trying to convince himself more than Castiel and it’s heart-wrenching to hear.

“Dean, I need you.”

The joy Castiel feels over being able to _finally_ express himself is short-lived when the white walls of his room collapse around him, engulfing him.

 

 

Dean’s lips are heated against Castiel’s, the kiss rushed and passionate and the Omega, at first a bit confused as to where he is and what he’s doing, readily submits to the Alpha’s gentle pushes. His whole body feels as if it’s on fire as Dean’s tongue expertly coaxes Castiel’s into yielding.

“Dean,” he moans, the Alpha’s hands warm as he brushes them down the Omega’s back to land on his butt. “Dean, we can’t.”

“Fuck, but I want you so much.”

“What about Lisa?”

The change in the Alpha is palpable and Castiel stumbles, not remembering this reaction. No, wait, this hasn’t happened before, has it? Why would he be remembering something else? What a weird form of Deja vu.

Dean pulls away, frowning harshly. “Is that what you’re thinking about right now? Lisa?”

“She _is_ still your fiancée and _you_ were the one who told me we had to stop seeing each other.”

No, that is said with much more malice than last time. He hadn’t meant it like that, he’s so unsure of what is going on right now.

“Well Cas, if this is not what you want to do then I guess…” Dean is turning away, shrugging and wiping his mouth as if to get rid of the taste of Castiel. That hadn’t happened either.

“What I want is for you to be a good Alpha and _choose_ ,” he spits and transforms into his sleek wolf form, his emotions completely getting the better of him as he turns and runs from the empty classroom Dean had pulled him into.

“Cas! Come on, you know how my family is! Cas, I—”

Dean yells something more but when Castiel turns back to him, a white light blinds him.

 

 

Dean pushes slowly into Castiel, letting the Omega ride out his orgasm and Castiel can do nothing but gasp and buck, his hole milking Dean’s hard cock for all it’s worth. He hates the condom but loves everything else about this moment.

Two years he has been pining for this Alpha and now finally he has him. For all his insecurities and flaws Dean is perfect for Castiel. Strong and gentle, his kisses passionate and sweet, showing all the love he cannot muster the courage to say.

Yes, there have been many ups and downs and they have hardly been figured out by this but Castiel is still glad this is where they ended up. Frankly when he had opened the door to his dorm room only to find a seriously distressed Alpha he would never in his mind have guessed that they would spend the whole night talking seriously about their lives and wishes and for that to culminate in them making love.

But here they are and Castiel has never been so happy in his life.

Gently, as soon as Castiel starts relaxing, Dean picks up where he left off, thrusting more quickly and with more intent. His knot is almost full, pushing against Castiel’s swollen rim and he wants it inside, his body greedy for everything Dean.

He grabs the Alpha’s shoulders, pulling him down so that they can kiss. The new angle makes sure Castiel’s spent dick rubs between them and he moans into the kiss as almost painful pleasure shoots through him.

“Come on, Alpha,” he pushes out against Dean’s lips, hands coming to cradle the Alpha’s face. “Wanna feel you come.”

“Holy fuck, Cas,” Dean grunts and pushes himself up to his knees. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

Castiel smiles but in the next moment Dean is pulling out of him and he gasps at the empty feeling. He barely has time to register what’s going on when Dean snaps off the condom and hastily jerks himself to completion, spilling on Castiel’s stomach so that it blends with Castiel’s impotent Omega semen.

Okay, that wasn’t completely what Castiel had anticipated or wanted but he sees the appeal in marking your mate with your come and he _does_ like the idea of their spend mixing together so he just smiles up at Dean. The Alpha is absolutely stunning as he towers over Castiel, chest heaving and eyes wild for a moment.

“Do you want me to take care of your knot?” Castiel murmurs as demurely as he can, considering he’s covered in come and slick.

“Fucking hell,” Dean laughs breathlessly and climbs off the bed on unsteady legs. “You’re fucking amazing but I can’t, babe.”

He goes into Castiel’s bathroom and Castiel can hear him cleaning up real quick before coming out again. He looks so good Castiel’s for a moment so mesmerized that he doesn’t really register what’s going on until the Alpha starts pulling on his clothes.

“Wait,” he sits up, frowning as Dean hops into his jeans. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah?” Dean looks at him with confusion but it quickly melts away and he comes over to give Castiel a peck on his lips. “Gotta get back to my room before Lisa comes over.”

Castiel gets an uneasy feeling in his stomach and his inner Omega whines. “To… break up with her?”

“Break up?” Dean frowns too now, whipping his t-shirt over his head. “Cas I told you before, I can’t break up with her. It’s… it’s complicated, okay?”

No, not okay. Wrong, it sounds wrong and not only because it’s not what Castiel wants to hear. Wrong because… did Dean really say that? But yes he did, when would he have a chance to say something else?

“What the hell, Dean?” Castiel is suddenly feeling vulnerable in his naked state, somehow ashamed about everything and he tries to shield himself by pulling his duvet over his lap. “Then what was this night about? Everything you said and what we did just now, does it mean nothing?”

Something flashes over Dean’s face. Raw pain, the Alpha wavering as he clearly fights an inner battle.

“Of course it doesn’t mean nothing,” he mumbles, averting his eyes in the most submissive act Castiel has ever seen an Alpha display. “But I told you we should stop meeting or something like this would happen, right? And I told you it can’t. And yet you—”

“Don’t try to make this out to be my fault, I’m not the bad guy here,” Castiel’s voice is way too shrill for his liking but his point still gets adequately across.

He sees on Dean’s face that he knows what Castiel is talking about, he can smell in the Alpha’s scent that Dean agrees, that he wants to stay, that he’s scared.

“Cas… look, can we just, I dunno, pretend this didn’t happen?”

“No we _can’t_ ,” Castiel is livid now and as he stands he forgets all about his nudity and the earlier discomfort. “You told me tonight that if you could do anything you want to you’d wanna mate with me, have you forgotten that? Or was that just something you said to get into my pants?”

Actually Castiel knows that’s not true because Dean’s scent had told him everything he’d needed to know and it still does.

“I can’t help it that I’m weak, okay?!” Dean suddenly roars, his inner pain clearly manifesting as anger and Castiel rears back at the rotten smell. “I’m too weak to stay away from you and I’m too weak to leave Lisa. I guess I’m just a useless piece of shit, is that what you want me to say, huh?”

“If we talked to your family I’m sure they’d understand. And even if they don’t you are entitled to living your own life,” Castiel answers with an icy calm, counter to Dean’s fiery rage. “You’re a grown Alpha, you should act like one.”

Those words clearly cut deeper than anything else Castiel could have said. Dean looks like he’s about to implode and he stalks up to Castiel, gets right in his face, and… stalls for a moment.

“Fuck you,” he says after a tense silence. Castiel lifts his chin and looks down his nose at the Alpha. “Fuck. You.”

With that he’s out the door and probably Castiel’s life. The second the door slams shut Castiel’s strength and anger leave him and he sags down on the bed, shaking as both fear and sadness take over. He cries then, shoulders shaking as he lets the desperation and loneliness wash over him.

His inner Omega wails forlornly and after a moment it gets even worse somehow and he finds himself gasping for air as the realization that his Alpha _left_ him hits him head on. Dean walked out on him, instead of trying to figure this thing between them out, instead of talking to Lisa and his parents, Dean _chose_ to bow his head and leave Castiel behind.

“Maybe he’s not my Alpha?” he rasps to no one in particular but immediately gets assaulted by his inner Omega at the mere _audacity_ to suggest something like that.

But how can he be? How can Dean be his mate if the Alpha isn’t willing to admit it even to himself?

“Cas? Cas, can you hear me?”

Castiel’s whole body jolts as he hears Dean’s voice, the words spoken with a softness he has never heard before. With a desperate lilt, a tenderness he’s never heard the Alpha use before. Or has he? He looks up but immediately has to shield his eyes as headlights shine sharply in his eyes and a car rushes at him at break-neck speed.

 

*****

 

Castiel gasps as he wakes up, a clear breath obstructed by tubes going into his nose and as he lifts his hand to yank them out he finds his whole arm, from his hand to his elbow, in a white cast. Pain is the next thing he registers and he gasps again, feeling pathetic like a fish on land as he tries to orient himself.

His next sense to return is his hearing and his heart hammers even harder when he recognizes Dean Winchester’s voice.

“Cas, you gotta calm down. Come on, mate, calm down.”

Castiel doesn’t but he makes a show of it by resting back against the bed. “Mate?” he asks, eyes wide as he finally registers that he’s in a bed in what looks like a hospital. “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

 


	2. The new reality

 

 

Dean finds Lisa almost immediately and as he approaches her she lifts her head from the papers she was reading to smile at him. The smile falls pretty quick as soon as she gets a good look at his face and her Beta scent turns worried even before he’s had a chance to open his mouth.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, pushing the papers over the desk to another nurse, also a Beta, who’s eyeing Dean wearily.

“It’s Cas,” Dean answers shakily, combing his fingers through his hair. His inner Alpha is shell-shocked and cowering in a corner. Dean feels young and vulnerable without its support. “He woke up.”

“Oh but that’s great news,” she says with a renewed smile and turns to the Beta behind the desk. “Page Dr. Barnes.”

“No, Lis,” he grabs her arm, his grip weak and trembling. “Something’s wrong.”

The second after his words register with her a ruckus can be heard behind him. Thrashing and beeping and someone definitely in distress. Lisa and her colleague react much faster than Dean, clearly more used to these kinds of situations. Dean recovers fast enough, though, when he realizes that the two Beta women are headed to Cas’ room.

Inside he finds his mate hyperventilating and desperately trying to get out of the bed and away from the beeping machine. He’s at the moment doing his best to get the IV needle out of the back of his hand but Lisa’s colleague manages to stop him.

“Why can’t I turn wolf?” he wheezes, eyes wide and his scent foul with fear. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Calm down, Mr. Winchester,” the Beta nurse says kindly. “It’s just a precaution. You came in as a human so the doctors had to treat you like a human.”

Lisa walks up to the bed and plucks Cas’ charts from the side. She flips through it quickly and Dean sees Cas stiffen at the sight of her and no wonder, considering what he had just said to Dean…

“Yes,” she confirms her colleague’s words. “Dr. Barnes just gave you a drug to hold back the transformation, to prohibit you from unconsciously turning wolf,” she smiles kindly, which only seems to anger Cas more. He’s seemingly calm now but Dean knows his mate and sees the anger simmering under the surface. “It should wear off in a couple of hours.”

“It’s because of your cast, mostly,” the Beta nurse says comfortingly and pats his hand where she has made sure the needle is still where it should be.

A phone rings in the distance and the nurse sighs before she walks out of the room. Lisa stays, reading the charts, and though Dean had wanted to talk to her he feels uncomfortable now. Cas’ anger is palpable in the air and Dean’s useless inner Alpha is screaming at him to right the wrong.

“It’s bad enough that you are here, Dean,” Cas states then, shattering Dean’s inner Alpha’s resolve. “Why did you have to bring _her_?”

Lisa looks up, eyebrows high on her forehead. “What do you mean? Because I’m your friend? You don’t have to worry, I’m not on your case,” she smiles again, but her scent betrays that she’s confused and a little hurt by Cas’ scathing tone.

“This is what I wanted to talk to you about,” Dean mumbles, hugging himself as he shifts from foot to foot.

“Friend?” Cas spits, venom evident in both his tone and scent.

“Cas doesn’t remember,” Dean whispers and in that moment Dr. Barnes walks into the room.

Pamela Barnes is another attractive Beta female in a hospital that to the untrained eye seems to be run by attractive Beta females.

“What’s going on?” she asks, her tone light but her eyes sharp and her scent guarded.

Lisa swallows and hands over Cas’ charts, her feelings obviously hurt and Dean feels so bad for her but knows he can’t go to her right now or Cas would misinterpret everything and Dean can’t blame him. His beautiful mate is glaring at everyone in the room and Dean just wants to kiss him and tell him everything is going to be alright but Cas made it really fucking clear that he was done with Dean at the moment.

“What’s going on is that I don’t understand what the _hell_ is going on,” Cas snaps, making Dr. Barnes smile unexpectedly.

Lisa slides over from the foot of the bed to almost hide behind Dean.

“You were in a car accident, Mr. Winchester,” Dr. Barnes tells him matter-of-factly and Dean thinks that’s good, Cas has always been a fan of the direct approach. But something she says upsets him again and he tosses an angry glare in Dean’s direction.

“Could you not call me that?”

“Cas,” Dean pleads, going up to the bed and reaching for his Omega’s good hand but Cas pulls away from him. “Please, mate, you have to remember.”

“Remember?” Dr. Barnes asks sharply and almost pushes Dean to the side to shine Cas in the eye with a pocket flashlight. “What don’t you remember, Castiel?”

Cas sits still and lets her examine him, his scent wary now as he glances at Dean and Lisa. “Dean says we’re mated and married but the last thing I remember is him choosing Lisa over me after we…” he pauses for a moment and Dean realizes immediately that Cas doesn’t know if he should tell Lisa about Dean cheating on her.

Because he doesn’t know that Lisa and Dean weren’t really a couple anymore when Dean had gone to Cas that evening, that they practically had made it official and that that was why he had gone to Cas’ dorm room to begin with.

Cas doesn’t know that Dean had been too scared to tell him that he had already chosen Cas and if he doesn’t remember anything after Dean left him then he definitely doesn’t know that Dean had simply gone back to his room to tell Lisa about his decision and actions. Cas’ memories seem distorted at best and lacking at worst.

“After we had been up talking all night,” he finishes in a mumble and Dean’s heart aches. Behind his back, Lisa moves in to brush her fingers against his hand in a show of comfort. He trembles but manages not to make a fool of himself.

“And when was that?”

Dean jerks when he realizes Dr. Barnes directed her question at him. “Um, if it’s the same night I’m thinking about then almost ten years ago.”

The room falls quiet for a moment, everyone collectively staring at Dean as if willing him to take back his words. But no, for Cas to be _this_ upset it has to be that night. Because when Dean had come back to the dorm room he had found Cas still on the bed, hours later, still covered in their come and curled up into a little ball. The whole room had reeked of Omega Rejection and Dean had vomited in Cas’ bathroom before he had managed to get himself under control.

“Well,” Dr. Barnes says after seconds that feel like hours. “Sounds like we will have to look at the CT scans again. You came in with severe concussion but showed no clear injury so we did a scan but it might be that we will have to do it again, or maybe even an MRI scan.”

She is taking notes but Dean barely sees her, only sees the destruction on his mate’s face. Without thinking he steps up to the bed and takes Cas’ hand before the Omega can even react.

“I know it’s scary, Cas,” he says in a comforting murmur, forcing his inner Alpha to calm down so he can smell reassuring for his mate. “But we’re gonna figure this out, you’ll see.”

“Dean, I…” Cas tugs at his hand but relents when Dean doesn’t want to let go. “I don’t know if I can trust you,” his voice is thick and his eyes averted, just like how Dean remembers it from that awful day ten years ago.

“It’s gonna be fine, Cas,” Dean states with more confidence than he feels. “I know I hurt you but I came back for you. I made you see then and I will now too, I’m here for you, mate.”

Cas meets his eyes then and Dean’s inner Alpha howls in sorrow when he sees nothing but fear and despair in the Omega’s beautiful face.

 

*****

 

The next hit comes when they are finally able to get Cas out of the hospital. He’s due back for check-ups about his arm and the coma but his head is what Dr. Barnes calls “fine”. To Dean, Cas is not fine.

Cas is angry and distant and refuses to believe Dean even when he’s presented with evidence that Dean is correct. His brother Gabriel has even flown in from France where he lives, to help support Cas but he can vouch for Dean until his face turns blue, Cas isn’t budging.

Or, well, that’s not entirely fair. Cas _does_ believe that they are mated, married, and that it’s ten years later. He’s not stupid and just looking at smartphones leaves him with the conclusion that it’s not the same year he thought it was. But what he can’t believe is that he forgave Dean.

To Cas, it’s still that day when he wallowed in Omega Rejection and at the moment there is apparently nothing Dean can do to convince him that he’s actually a good mate.

“Most probably it’s just temporary amnesia from the hit,” Dr. Barnes had told them. “But you mustn’t force your memories to return, Castiel. Allow them to come little by little. And you,” she had turned to Dean with a serious face, pinning him down. “No pushing him, he needs support and rest.”

Dean understands that well enough and both he and his inner Alpha agrees on the last part. Well, he agrees on not pushing Cas too but that is a bit harder, especially since his mate is exasperated and distraught over his loss.

“So what do I do, then?”

“It’s gonna be okay, Cas,” Dean murmurs as he drives them home, probably unconsciously a bit more carefully than normal. “Your memories are gonna return, the doc said it will be easier for you when you get to the house and other familiar places.”

“Not about that,” Cas snaps, crossing his arms and hunching against the passenger side door. “What do I do for a living?”

“Oh,” Dean pretends he needs to focus to make the next turn so he can think about what to say for a moment. Dr. Barnes had told him not to push and for Cas to not force himself, but answering questions should be fine, right? “You teach middle school English.”

Cas is quiet for a moment and when Dean glances over at him the Omega has a look of wonder on his face.

“Really?”

Dean smiles a little tentatively. “Yeah and your kids love you.”

Cas’ smile crumbles immediately and he puts his head in his hands, bending over. “Then why can’t I remember them?”

Dean’s inner Alpha roars at seeing his mate like this. Fix it, he has to _fix it_ and he _can’t_. The pain is unbearable and Cas clearly registers Dean’s scent because he can’t control it right now. He looks up with a surprised face and Dean feels his cheeks heat.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, thankful when he makes the turn onto their street and spots their house further down.

“It’s fine,” Cas mumbles, hugging himself. “I’m being selfish, I—holy crap that’s our house. We live in a _house_.”

He gawks out the window and Dean feels a great sense of relief that Cas recognizes their house before he even pulled up onto the driveway.

“Yeah,” Dean smiles. “The autoshop me and Benny started a few years back is going great and your salary is pretty good.”

Cas gets out of the car, looking almost like he doesn’t hear Dean but it’s fine because the Omega’s scent is almost happy and Dean’s inner Alpha growls in satisfaction.

And then Gabriel opens the front door and makes a beeline for Cas. Cas’ older brother had flown in the day after Cas’ accident and though Dean knows Gabriel owns his own pastry shop in France, he has been staying with Dean this whole time. In the beginning Dean and Gabriel didn’t always see eye to eye but their relationship has definitely improved over the years and it’s been golden having him here now.

Dean’s own family has of course been supportive too but there has been something special about having the only part of Cas’ family that’s left alive sit with Dean as they waited for the Omega to wake up.

“Come on in,” Gabriel says with a wide smile. He’s been made aware of Cas’ memory loss, as has everyone else Dean could think of. He doesn’t want anyone inadvertently fucking up Cas’ mind just because he forgot to tell them not to. “I made dinner.”

The moment Cas steps into the house it’s evident that he remembers something. He stiffens and looks around himself very slowly and his scent all but disappears. Dean has always hated that Cas’ scent does that when the Omega is deep in thought but right now he’s comforted by the phenomenon because it’s so _Cas_. That and turning into his wolf form every time he gets too scared, angry, or sad, which Dean has always found very endearing.

It’s also a great way for Dean to deduce if Cas’ emotions are at a stable level or not but he’s a bit robbed of that crutch now because Cas has opted to keep using the drug that inhibits his transformation. His arm will take about another week to heal completely and Cas is afraid he will unconsciously turn wolf in his sleep. It’s a valid fear as he’s prone to do that when he’s stressed and sleeping poorly so Dean gets the decision even if he’s going to miss Cas’ sleek wolf form for now.

Anything to get Cas back to normal, though. To be honest, Dean wants Cas to get his memories back more for the Omega’s sake than his, he loves Cas just as he is, though he wishes intensely that Cas would stop being mad at him.

He gets it, though. Cas was pretty fucking mad back then too, it’d taken him days to completely get over it but in many ways it had been easier then. Mostly because it had been fresh for the both of them and they had had _only_ that to deal with. Dean is at least glad that Cas is on sick leave for the time being so that they will have time to figure this out.

“It’s Chicken Parmesan,” Gabriel says with a flourish when they walk into the dining room. The dining room table is set but Dean can see the food still cooking in the adjoining kitchen. “Your favorite,” he emphasizes, making Cas roll his eyes at his brother.

“I know _that_ , I haven’t lost all my memories. I know that you’re my brother and that you’re annoying but mean well. I also know that you moved to France to start a bakery with your friend Balthazar and that I miss you a lot but that I’m very proud of you.”

The room goes quiet and Cas’ scent turns guarded when Gabriel directs a teary gaze at Dean. Dean can do nothing but smile.

“Guess bringing you home was the best choice after all,” he says, knowing full well that this is just a small step but it’s much more and much faster than Dean had expected.

“What?”

Cas looks annoyed as fuck, which he usually does when there’s something he doesn’t understand, but before Dean can go over to him and hug him, Gabriel does.

“I moved only five years ago, little bro,” Gabriel mumbles against Cas’ soft hair and though they’re brothers Dean feels an irrational stab of jealousy at the closeness.

“Oh,” Cas mumbles and bends his neck to bury his face against Gabriel’s shoulder. “And I remember that.”

 

*****

 

When it’s time to sleep Dean feels like he gets hit in the stomach at Cas’ disapproving frown.

“The right side is yours,” Dean mumbles, feeling inexplicably shy in his own bedroom.

“I can’t sleep in this bed with you,” Cas deadpans and Dean has to fucking sit down, his legs not supporting him as his inner Alpha all but faints.

“But it’s _our_ bed…”

“Yes, so you say,” Cas sighs loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, Dean. I have been in love with you for two years and…” he trails off, looking straight at Dean’s no doubt crushed face. “Sorry,” he clears his throat and Dean sees Cas’ nose twitch but he does nothing to reel in his hurt feelings. “What I meant to say is that for me, it’s too soon. What I remember is pining over you, painfully so, and then having you briefly before you tossed me away. You told me that you wanted to pretend nothing happened between us.”

“I never said that,” Dean protests, not half as righteously as he had aimed at. But he’s confused by Cas’ words and it’s making it hard to think.

“You _said_ ,” Cas continues, now taking a step forward, his anger carrying him. “That you couldn’t break up with Lisa, that your family was holding you back. You _cheated_ on her with me.”

Dean swallows over a lump, fuck not pushing because this shit hurts. Does Cas really think Dean’s that kind of Alpha?

“I never said I couldn’t break up with her. Yeah, our families were pushing us to get together but fuck, she and I were already over when I went to see you. You don’t really think I would cheat on her like that, do you? I mean,” he shakes his head, standing up and rubbing the back of his neck. “We kissed, you and I, and I knew then that I love you. Fuck, I felt so guilty from just that kiss and I guess kissing _is_ cheating so yeah, you’re right about that. But I would never have gone all the way with you if… if me and Lisa had still been…” he trails off, well aware he’s rambling and probably not making any sense.

Cas is looking confused, his eyes unfocused. “I… I think my memory is…”

Fuck, Dean’s done it now, hasn’t he? He’s broken Cas’ fragile mind. Filled with fear, he steps quickly around the bed and over to the Omega, who’s looking more and more unsteady by the second.

“Hey, it’s okay, Cas. I’m sorry, okay?”

“You…” Cas looks up, hurt and confusion in his eyes and he pulls away from Dean. “You should have told me all of that.”

“I did, Cas,” fucking hell, Dean feels like crying for real now. “Why do you think you took me back? I told you everything and begged you to take me back.”

“You…” Cas looks around himself, eyes landing on the door that leads to the master bathroom. “You washed me off in the shower?”

“I did,” Dean says, almost more elated to hear Cas say this than he was when the Omega first opened his eyes. “You were shaking and mad, you kept snapping at me that you could do it yourself but I couldn’t leave you,” he steps closer again, brushing his fingers along Cas’ arm. “Because you’re my mate, Cas,” he says softly and for a moment it looks like Cas will come back to him but then the Omega steps away again, shaking his head.

“Isn’t there a guest bedroom or something I can sleep in? I can’t do this right now, Dean.”

Dean swallows hard. “There is but Gabe’s using it.”

Cas nods jerkily. “The couch, then,” he states to the floor and all but flees the room, leaving Dean standing there feeling more impotent than ever.

 

*****

 

The next day Dean wakes up with a headache and at first he doesn’t understand why. But once he rolls over and finds the bed just as empty as it has been during the last few weeks everything comes crashing down on him and he’s up and out of the bed so fast his head thuds dully.

The shower he takes is short and perfunctory. Normally he would indulge on days off—scratch that, _normally_ Cas would indulge him. Would be in here with him or would be in bed, would maybe have coaxed Dean to stay in bed too. God he misses his mate.

He takes only a moment to lean his head against the tiled wall, inhaling deeply to get himself under control, and then he washes off and steps out to dry off. He throws on some sweat pants and a t-shirt, completely uncaring about his appearance since he’s not even going to work. He’s gonna stay at home and be whatever Cas needs him to be.

He doesn’t want to be away from the autoshop for too long but he knows that Benny has it covered and for now he needs to be with Cas. Yeah, he can’t stay at home for much longer but he feels like he at least has to reach through to his mate. The Omega is obviously still mad at him and he gets that, understood it perfectly the first time it happened. But he changed Cas’ mind once and he will be able to do it again, he’s sure. Yes, this time they have a lot of other things to deal with at the same time, he can’t even begin to imagine how Cas must feel, but the fact that Cas had remembered about Gabriel’s move and Balthazar is a good sign, it _has to_ be.

He veers off when he gets to the foot of the stairs, going directly into the kitchen without even looking into the living room. A big part of him is scared he’ll find the couch empty and Cas nowhere to be seen. Maybe a note explaining that he’s taken to living at the Motel 6 outside of town instead. Dean’s inner Alpha is protesting such thoughts loudly, _his_ Omega wouldn’t do that. But what if Cas isn’t his anymore?

Dean bows his head, breathing deeply again, trying to steel his nerves as he waits for the coffee machine to finish brewing a pot. So far the rest of the house is quiet and Dean suspects Gabriel is going to sleep in like he usually does. Plus, when Dean had gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom he had heard voices from downstairs so he suspects the Novak brothers had been up talking. Dean feels so envious of that that he can’t even think straight. He had been sleep-deprived for most of the night and is fucking dying to talk to Cas too.

Since he can’t do much else than hope for a solution or break-through to land in his lap, he prepares a steaming mug with coffee for Cas, just the way the Omega likes it and as he walks out into the living room he almost stumbles when he sees Cas on the couch.

The Omega looks sleepy and fucking adorable because of course he does. He has clearly just woken up and he blinks up at Dean, reaching quietly for the coffee when Dean offers it to him with a small smile.

“How did you sleep?”

Cas frowns into his mug. “Not much. This couch…” he scootches over to give room for Dean even though the Alpha hadn’t asked for it. Dean greedily accepts the invitation but perches on the other end so he won’t appear to crowd the Omega. At the moment Cas’ scent is neutral and sleepy and Dean imagines everything is okay for a moment. “It’s comfortable for a while but not a whole night.”

Dean nods, sipping his coffee slowly. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that too.”

Suddenly Cas turns to Dean, eyes contemplative. “You didn’t want to buy this couch,” he states out of the blue and Dean tries very hard to remain calm. “Even though the old one was crooked from the move here, and rugged, and _ugly_.”

“It wasn’t _that_ ugly,” Dean mumbles and hides a smile as he takes another sip of coffee.

“Yes it was,” Cas argues but he smiles too and it makes hope bubble in Dean’s stomach. “And you didn’t want to get rid of it because we had sex…” he trails off and half-turns on the couch they’re sitting on, looking at the back of it even though this is a completely different piece of furniture. “We _mated_ on the old couch.”

Well fuck, now Dean doesn’t just have hope blooming in his stomach, he’s got a fat lump stuck in his throat. He clears his throat but his words come out on a croak anyway.

“Yeah we did.”

Cas brushes his hand over the blanket he’d used during the night, scent changing into something more intimate.

“We said we would wait,” he starts, voice wavering as if he’s not sure and when he looks up at Dean for confirmation, Dean nods encouragingly. “Wait until we finished college, got a job, got a house, got married…”

“It was mostly my family,” Dean supplies solemnly. “They’re all for human traditions.”

Cas draws a shaky breath. “And I was fine with that but you…” he looks at Dean with big eyes. “You bit me.”

Dean smiles crookedly, his inner Alpha posturing with pride. “I couldn’t not bite you when you looked so fucking stunning, Cas. I was sitting like this,” he puts the coffee mug on the table in front of the couch and sits back, spreading his hands. “And you were riding me, head thrown back and eyes closed. Smelled so fucking good, Cas,” his smile grows as he loses himself in the memory. “I still use it as spanking material when I’m alone.”

That makes Cas snort and Dean opens his eyes, unaware that he had closed them. At first he thinks he went too far with that last comment but to his immense pleasure he finds Cas grinning at him, eyes twinkling in a way he definitely recognizes.

“So you bit me and I bit you back, on that couch, and that was why you didn’t want to get rid of it.”

Dean shrugs, aims for a casual look and scent and knows he’s probably failing. “I’m sentimental, what can I say?”

Cas continues to smile, looking down at his hands, but it slips off after a moment and his scent turns sad, which is more than Dean’s inner Alpha can take. He _needs_ his mate to be happy and content and he feels distressed that he doesn’t know what to do about it.

“I talked a lot with Gabe tonight,” Cas mumbles, still looking down. “I remember… _a lot_. It’s coming back to me, little by little, and not just about you and me and this house. Everything, I guess, but so slowly.”

“It’s okay, mate,” Dean mumbles before he can stop himself. Cas looks up at him but doesn’t look half as angry as he’s been since he woke up from his coma so Dean dares to put a hand over Cas’. “The doc said it can take time but she also said your memory can get triggered by being in familiar environments. Like at home and I was thinking, why don’t we drive to your work today? We can just go look at the building, you don’t have to meet your kids if you don’t want to.”

Cas swallowed, his scent changing for the better. “I’d like that. And… can we also visit my parents’ graves?”

Dean smiles sadly. “Sure, Cas. Do you… um, I mean your father passed after we had mated so…”

“I remember his death, it’s not news to me,” Cas smiles unexpectedly, a little sadly yes but still beautiful. “And I remember that your parents are alive, can we go visit them?”

“Of course. And Sam and Jess too, everyone I can think of to jostle your memory loose.”

Cas nods, pulling his good hand out from underneath Dean’s to start petting the back of Dean’s hand. “Does your family like me?” he asks suddenly, voice small and Dean lurches forward on the couch, barley stopping himself from embracing Cas.

“Why wouldn’t they? They fucking adore you, Cas.”

Cas looks like he wanted Dean to hug him but the Omega doesn’t say anything about it so neither does Dean, even though his inner Alpha is howling at him to reach across those few scant inches that still separate them.

“It’s just… you said your family was what kept you from leaving Lisa, so I thought maybe they wouldn’t be happy with me, that that was why you…”

Dean grits his teeth, feeling angry with his younger self. That’s nothing new, though, and he powers through it so that Cas won’t think Dean’s annoyed scent is about him.

“Look, Cas, I’m gonna tell you what I told you ten years ago when I came back for you, okay?” Cas nods slowly. “There was never really an issue with my family. Yes, they were very into Lisa and they wanted me to get married and settle down but they weren’t really pushing me. I was young and insecure and I thought, fuck—” he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, steeling himself so he will sound completely sincere because he _is_. “When I realized how much you meant to me I was so fucking scared that I wouldn’t be good enough so I thought it would be better if I stayed with Lisa. But I was wrong. Lisa helped me realize it, my family helped me realize it, and _you_ helped me. I love you Cas, and so does my family.”

Cas swallows audibly, his chin trembling but his voice coming out surprisingly steady. “And Lisa at the hospital? Is she really just working there?”

Dean looks at his beautiful mate with soft eyes. “She is, I promise. Please, mate, you gotta believe me.”

They sit for a long while, the quiet of the house almost palpable in the room, but Dean refuses to push the Omega and Cas is obviously gathering his thoughts.

“I do believe you,” he says eventually and Dean feels as if a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders. “I don’t remember everything you just told me but I believe you are sincere and since I remember us mating I have to have forgiven you in the past so I guess…” he looks up, eyes watery but his smile soft. “I guess we can make this work?”

The way he says it, phrases it like a statement but ends it on an upward lift as if it’s a question — as if Dean would say no — makes Dean push forward those last inches. As soon as he wraps his arms around the Omega, Cas melts against him and inhales Dean’s scent.

“Yeah,” Dean mumbles soothingly, hugging his mate tightly. “We can make anything work, you and I.”

“Can’t believe I took your name,” Cas eventually mumbles, making Dean laugh out loud.

Fuck yeah, together they can do anything, he just knows it.

 

 


	3. True ‘til the end

 

 

The day that follows is in a way a blur for Castiel but in a lot of other ways it’s sharp to the point of hurting his senses. His mind feels scratchy and his emotions raw as Dean takes him around town to point out all the places that contain his memories; that contain their life.

For the most part Castiel remembers almost immediately, at other times it comes to him in small fragments that he manages to piece together with the help of his Alpha. He’s immensely glad that his memories regarding Dean and the Omega Rejection is slowly unravelling because he’s starting to feel like he couldn’t have done this without his mate.

“Go without me,” Gabriel had said in the morning when Castiel had told him about their plans for the day. “I have calls to make and I think you need to be with Dean right now.”

His brother was correct, of course, and Castiel feels fit to bursting with all the emotions and impressions he’s bombarded with. And even more so when they stop at Castiel’s work, the town’s middle school.

“I take the bus here,” Castiel states as soon as Dean parks outside the deceptively quiet school. At the moment the kids are inside for their first lessons and Castiel doesn’t want to go inside for fear of meeting them and not remembering them. It will be time for him to come back later, he’s on sick leave for at least a couple of weeks but he knows he will have to come in to talk to his boss soon. All he had wanted for today is to see the building, though, to see if that can awake his memory and it certainly does. “You don’t want me to.”

Dean snorts and leans on the roof to his precious Impala. “It’s a frequent discussion, yes.”

Castiel watches the empty playground for a moment. “You think I should ride with you.”

“It’s _safer_ ,” Dean exclaims, looking somewhat frustrated when Castiel looks back at him. This feels good, makes his stomach curl with warmth as a familiar argument comes back to him. “I would drop you off and pick you up. I know you say you don’t need a car of your own because it would be a waste of money and I can sorta agree but why won’t you let me drive you?”

“Because if I take the bus on my own I retain some independency,” Castiel answers honestly, the first thing that comes to mind. Immediately when the words are out of his mouth he realizes that he has never told Dean this. Also realizes that it’s exactly how he has always felt. He smiles and looks away again. “I love you and I love knowing I can lean on you; that you’ll support me. But I also love feeling that I can do things on my own; that I haven’t lost myself in this mating.”

“Oh,” Dean is looking at him with huge eyes when Castiel glances back at him. The Alpha, though older by two years, looks much younger in this moment. “I didn’t know.”

“I know,” Castiel smiles and opens the car door. “I don’t remember why I haven’t told you this but I do remember that I haven’t. Seems inconsequential to keep it from you, though, so now you know.”

It takes a moment for Dean to join Castiel in the car again but when he does he’s sporting a huge smile. He reaches over the bench to take Castiel’s good hand in his, his pleased scent wrapping tantalizingly around Castiel.

“Thank you for telling me.”

Castiel smiles and squeezes Dean’s hand back. “Let’s go visit your parents next.”

 

*****

 

This early on a weekday Dean’s father John is bound to still be at work. The old Marine had turned to the police force after serving his country and at the ripe old age of 60 he is enjoying life behind a desk as a detective downtown.

According to Dean, John is now cozying it up with the kind of job he had used to dread when he was younger. Age caught up with him, though, and after a while it seemed that the charm of chasing suspects down streets lost its glamour. Castiel only feels mildly calmed by all this, his inner Omega still protesting the dangers of _any_ police work.

Mary, the matriarch of the Winchester family, is a housewife and expecting them since Dean called her before they even set out to explore the town. She opens the door with a smile and opens her arms to Castiel before neither has said anything. Her soothing Omega scent washes over him and he melts into her embrace, feeling safe in the way a child feels safe with their mother.

“See what I mean?” Dean mumbles and shuffles past them after he has closed the door. “You’re fudging _adored_.”

Mary pulls out of the hug to cup Castiel’s face, her eyes serious. “Who said otherwise, sweetheart?”

God, Castiel feels fragile enough to shatter and as if that’s completely okay because he was just in a fucking _car accident_ and lost a significant chunk of his memories. No matter the fact that he’s regaining them, and fast, they’re still hazy and it’s _scary_.

“I couldn't remember,” he mumbles, feeling shy.

She tuts kindly and pulls him into a new hug. “Dean told me.”

“Did he tell you I’ve been an ass to him?” he mumbles against her soft hair, letting her steer him into the living room.

Mary shoos someone, most probably Dean considering the worried Alpha scent, and then she plants Castiel on the couch, sitting down to hug him close.

“He told me you were having difficulties remembering certain things. It’s okay to let that affect your behavior, no one is judging you.”

The floodgates open then and he ends up stumbling through his experiences with the accident, the hospital, seeing Dean and Lisa like that, what he remembers, what he knows he doesn’t, and how all of this makes him feel. And it’s so cathartic to talk to her about it.

Dean is clearly his mate and Gabriel is his brother but Mary, she’s just… she’s just _there_. She’s everything he needs right now and he hasn’t missed his own mother in a long while but he does now. That Mary is an Omega like Castiel helps too. Her scent is comforting because it’s not imposing in any way, and the more he talks to her now, the more he starts remembering about their relationship. About how she sees him as her own son, how he’s taken to her like a baby bird and how he’s learning from her, growing as an Omega and as a mate to a stubborn Alpha.

He and Dean don’t want pups, he remembers this clearly and suddenly smack dab in his monologue with Mary, but in a way he has still been learning how to be the head of a household from her. It feels refreshing to get this piece of information — and of _himself_ — back from the pit the accident flung it into.

At some point Mary’s phone rings and she pulls it out of her pocket, handing it to Dean without even looking at it. The obvious meaning makes Castiel swell with acceptance and she smiles at him when his scent no doubt hits her.

Dean is somewhere in the background during all this, his anxious Alpha scent clearly restrained as much as the Alpha can muster, but Castiel barely registers him until there is suddenly a loud sound from the hall out by the front door.

Mary frowns in the direction but Castiel’s eyes immediately seeks out his Alpha. Dean steps between the Omegas and the door, probably unconsciously, but it makes Castiel feel calmer. In the next moment his mate steps back, though, only to reveal a severely agitated John Winchester.

“John?” Mary says in surprise, rising and going to meet her mate. “Is everything okay?”

“You tell me,” the Alpha answers in his gruff voice, a clear testament to from where Dean has inherited his. Castiel frowns but immediately realizes John is talking to his son.

Dean all but blushes and mumbles something about being sorry.

Mary looks at them all, eyebrows raised, until Dean steps up and hands her phone back. That, for some reason, makes her smile and she shakes her head as she walks out into the kitchen.

“Let me put on some coffee.”

“I’ll help,” Dean hurries to say, leaving John alone with Castiel, who’s still on the couch.

John looks after his son’s retreating back, squinting for a moment before coming to sit down on the armchair next to the couch Castiel is on.

“I dunno what’s going on with that boy, answering his mother’s phone with that tone,” he looks at Castiel, his harsh Alpha scent finally settling. “I thought you were dead all over again.”

Gears click in Castiel’s head and he finds himself smiling softly. “Dean made you think something was wrong.”

“Yes,” John huffs and sits up straighter to dig his wallet out of his back pocket, making himself more comfortable when he’s removed it. “I just called Mary to ask if she needed something from the store and Dean answers, sounding all shaky and whatnot. Got your name out of him, and ‘mom’, what the fuck was I going to think? ‘They’ve been in another accident’, that was where my mind went. Goddamn that boy for scaring me like that, I’m too fucking old, Castiel,” he suddenly frowns but Castiel has known John long enough to distinguish between his worried and his angry frowns.

He’s filled with exhilaration the second the thought leaves his mind; he _has_ known John long enough. The Alpha’s nose twitches but Castiel ignores that. Just like with Mary, this meeting feels cathartic, though in a completely different way.

He gets up and walks over to hug John awkwardly, mostly since the Alpha isn’t prepared for it and still sitting down.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” he mumbles and feels John relax, his scent touched by concern.

“You did. I’m glad you’re on your way to recovery.”

He pulls away, pecking the older Alpha on his stubbled cheek. “Thank you, dad.”

John’s pleased scent is so strong Dean almost balks when he walks into the room a moment later, the sight making John huff uncomfortably and Castiel grin widely.

 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time they go home to Sam and Jess Dean is starting to think things will work out all on their own. The more time they spend together, the more Cas warms up to Dean. And the more places they visit and people they meet, the more Cas remembers, sometimes even on his own.

On the way to Sam and Jess’ apartment Cas had even made a remarkable discovery by himself.

“Stop the car!” he had suddenly snapped and Dean, scared that his Omega was suddenly feeling sick, had swiveled to stop crookedly by the nearest curb. Cas had been so fast out of the car that Dean had barely been able to react.

But as soon as he was out and around the car it had become very obvious that Cas wasn’t sick but that he had remembered something important. Because right before them towered the church they had gotten married in. Dean, relieved, had leaned back against the car and smiled at his Omega’s wondrous look.

“This is where…” he had stopped to swallow, his eyes shiny with unshed tears when he had turned back to Dean. “We got married here.”

Dean had nodded, his chest feeling tight. “You picked it.”

“Because it’s got fat cherubs around the altar.”

Dean had laughed, feeling insanely happy. “That was the best reason I’d ever heard.”

“It was…” Cas had turned back to the church, watching it with his watery eyes. “It was a beautiful wedding,” he had sounded a bit unsure so Dean had filled him in on some details. The good and the bad — like one of the bridesmaids tripping over her own dress and tearing it in the process.

And then when Cas had started telling Dean some of his memories, some that Dean couldn’t have any recollection of — like what he and Gabriel had been talking about before Cas’ brother and only living relative had escorted Cas to the altar — Dean started believing in the future even more.

 

 

Sam and Jess are both at home when Dean rings the doorbell. Jess basically assaults the door and then them, pulling them both into hugs and kisses even though Dean had warned her that Cas might be distant. Sam pads into the hall in his wolf form, his coat just as shaggy as his human hair and Dean can’t help but grin down at his little brother.

Cas takes Jess’ hugging in stride, even patting Sam on the head when the great wolf comes over to butt his head against Cas’ thigh. Just like mom, Jess leads Dean and Cas into the living room and they sit down to talk there too.

Cas is calmer this time, the time spent with mom obviously doing the Omega good and Dean feels happy and reassured by that. Sure, he had managed to upset his dad for a moment there and he wasn’t very proud of that but in the end it had worked out for the best.

Plus, Dean attributes Cas’ way of approaching his temporary amnesia in a logical way right now to the discussion he had had with mom. He was emotional with her but he’s more stoic now, more collected and more like himself. Cas has never been a particularly emotional Omega and Dean’s inner Alpha feels placated to sit back and listen to his mate explain his injuries and memory-loss to Sam and Jess.

“But this is great news,” Jess says when Cas has told her most of the things he’s experienced since he woke up. “It really sounds as if you’re on your way to recovering completely.”

“I think so too,” Cas says with such conviction that Dean practically melts back against the couch.

Sam transforms into his human form, coming to sit on the couch beside Dean and scratching his already ruffled hair. “So it’s like temporary, partial amnesia?”

Cas nods. “Dr. Barnes says it’s common with head injuries, though probably not as extensive as mine. I guess…” he looks down at his cast, stroking his thumb over it and Dean’s heart aches with the need to comfort his mate. “I guess my head really took a toll.”

Jess leans over and puts a hand on Cas’ knee, squeezing. “The important thing is that you came back to us. Maybe you’re a little battered and bruised but you’re here with us, we can do this together.”

Cas smiles at her and then turns to look at Dean, as if for confirmation. Dean’s inner Alpha snarls at him to move to reassure his mate and Dean almost jerks off the couch in his haste to put an arm around Cas’ shoulders.

“Of course,” he says, the morning’s conversation still fresh in his mind. “It’s okay that you forgot stuff and that you were mad at me, and scared. It has already improved, just from being home for two days, and even if it hadn’t I wouldn’t leave you.”

Sam grins, leaning around Dean to put his hand on Cas’ other knee. “Yeah, family don’t end with blood, you’re one of us Cas.”

Cas smiles a decidedly wobbly smile but the serene moment is broken when Jess starts chanting “One of us, gobble gobble”, which makes them all laugh. Cas leans into Dean’s embrace and Dean feels his stomach flutter pleasantly when his Omega’s happy scent reaches his sensitive nose.

 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time they get home again Castiel is tired and his head feels like it’s going to explode. But he’s happy too, most notably so because this time when Dean pulls up on their driveway it really feels like _their_ driveway and definitely like coming _home_.

He looks fondly at the house, remembers suddenly how he and Dean had painted the house this color just last year. How Benny and Sam had come to help and how disastrously bad Castiel had turned out to be, how he had been sidelined to serving the Alphas drinks and how he hadn’t minded in the slightest, even though it probably should have felt chauvinistic.

How Dean had joked that Castiel was the perfect little maid for them and how Castiel had retaliated by going into town to buy an ugly maid Halloween costume that he had put on as a gag when they were alone. And how Dean had reacted to that…

He looks at his Alpha as they shrug off their jackets in the hall, thinking about how _long_ it’s been since he felt Dean’s touch. When was even his last heat, maybe he was due soon?

His thoughts are interrupted when Gabriel comes out to meet them. “I’m making dinner again,” he says with a wide grin. “How did it go today?”

“Good,” Dean says, tone and scent full of contentment, and then he turns to Castiel. “Or what do you say?”

Castiel smiles widely and seeks out Dean’s hand with his. “Better than good, much better than I had expected.”

“Great!” Gabriel exclaims and walks back into the kitchen. He goes directly to the stove and the stew bubbling there. It smells exquisite but Castiel doesn’t expect anything else from his brother. “Guess it was just temporary like Dr. Barnes said.”

Dean nods and starts pulling out plates and glasses. “Temporary and partial, I’m just glad getting you home seems to solve it.”

“Yeah,” Castiel sighs and sits down at the kitchen table, perfectly fine to let his mate and brother pamper him for now. His broken arm aches dully and he thinks a couple of painkillers will be excellent supplement to his dinner. “I’m just sad I wasted all that time at the hospital being mad at you, Dean.”

Sad and embarrassed but when his Alpha comes to hug and kiss him it feels okay, feels justified in a way.

“It’s fine, Omega,” Dean mumbles sweetly, his protective scent comforting Castiel’s upset inner Omega. “You were still all up in that rejection.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel butts in, grinning in his usual way. “And Dean’s a great Alpha, stubborn and protective, he knows better than to give up on you so easily.”

Dean throws Gabriel a dirty look but doesn’t object. Castiel just smiles sadly. “I’m just upset that I basically rejected you too, and _after_ a mating at that.”

“Yeah, well…” Dean shrugs, obviously trying to go for a casual approach but his scent changes and he leaves the room in a clear attempt at regaining control.

“Listen,” Gabriel says in a low tone, sitting down beside Castiel. “Dean was in a really bad shape when we got home after you had woken up, he probably would have gone into Alpha Rejection if it hadn’t been for me and Sam, and he drank _a lot_ that night. But,” he smiles and takes Castiel’s good hand, definitely smelling the dread Castiel is feeling at hearing this. “He stubbornly came back for you, refused to give up, refused to let the Rejection take over. I’m telling you, he’s the one for you.”

“Yeah,” Castiel smiles, feeling his inner Omega agree wholeheartedly. “I’m starting to see that too.”

“And you knew it even from before,” Gabriel says with a grin, standing up just as Dean comes back into the kitchen. “Look, I was thinking now that your memories are coming back I should leave you two alone. I talked to Sam while you were out today and I’ll stay with him until I fly home on Monday.”

“Are you sure?” Dean asks and goes to stir the stew but is pushed out of Gabriel’s way. “We have the room.”

“Yeah but I noticed Cassie slept on the couch and I’m not gonna butt in between you two but he should have a bed,” he smiles kindly when all Castiel can do is blush and feel bad about his behavior yesterday. “And Samsquatch has an extra for me too, it’ll just be over the weekend. I’ve been away for weeks now and Balthazar is understanding but it’s not okay to leave him alone for too long.”

Castiel frowns at hearing this, his inner Omega balking. “Weeks? How long was I unconscious?”

Both Dean and Gabriel give Castiel very serious looks and that just makes him feel even worse. After a quick glance at Dean’s stoney face, Gabriel steps up to put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder.

“You were in a _coma_ for _weeks_ , Omega,” he says kindly and Castiel jerks, looking at the two of them. “Dr. Barnes explained it to you, remember?”

Oh, that’s right, she had mentioned him being in a coma but…

“I guess, I didn’t really understand it…” he mumbles and Gabriel squeezes his shoulder before he goes to turn off the stove, pulling the stew off it. He has prepared bread for them to eat with it and he puts that on the table as Dean carries the heavy and warm pot over to where Castiel is sitting.

“It’s okay, Cas,” Dean says, voice comforting. “It’s not that long ago since you woke up and this is only your second day home. It’s okay if things are still wonky in your head, that’s what we’re here for.”

Castiel nods and his inner Omega seeks out his Alpha, manifesting in the way Castiel can’t help but put a hand on Dean’s arm. The Alpha immediately stops serving them and takes Castiel’s hand in his instead. Gabriel starts filling their plates with steaming beef stew instead, smiling at them.

“When is your next consultation with Dr. Barnes?”

“Tomorrow,” Castiel answers, voice steadier than he had thought it would be. “Mostly for my head, my arm is what it is.”

“And how have you been feeling? In general, I mean.”

Castiel shrugs, wishing he could turn wolf but knows it’s smarter to keep to the drugs and avoid it. Knowing himself he might turn in the middle of the night and he does _not_ want to mess up his cast.

“Better than I thought, just one juicy headache.”

It’s a credit to Gabriel’s concern for him that his brother doesn’t make a comment on the word “juicy”, Castiel thinks when the Beta only frowns at him.

“Is that okay? You _do_ have a head injury after all.”

Castiel rubs his temple. “It’s fine.”

“I called Dr. Barnes,” Dean mumbles, his tone and scent shy as he peeks at Castiel. “When I told you I would give you some privacy at your parents’ grave. I wanted to make sure.”

Castiel feels like he should be offended that his Alpha doesn’t think he can take care of himself or that he doesn’t trust Castiel’s own judgement, but thinking back on the _weeks_ of uncertainty his mate has had to go through Castiel understands him. But he does direct a disapproving look at the Alpha, making Dean hang his head.

“And what did she say?”

“That it was normal,” Dean looks up when Castiel obviously doesn’t intent to scold him. “That if it gets worse we should get you to the hospital but otherwise she’ll examine you tomorrow like planned.”

“Well okay then,” Castiel says, smiling at the Alpha and Dean’s surprised and happy scent makes something familiar coil in Castiel’s stomach.

Later that night, when Gabriel has packed up all his things and Dean is dropping him off at Sam’s, Castiel finds himself standing in the guest bedroom, looking at the rumpled bed. It would be ridiculous of him to sleep in here now. To be completely honest he’s not even sure why he had wanted to sleep on the couch yesterday.

Well, in the moment it had felt right. He had still been mad and scared, confused and hurt, and even though he had started remembering things as soon as he got out of the hospital and into Dean’s car — which, his treacherous inner Omega reminds him of, he and Dean totally has had sex in — the hurt had been too fresh and the fright of his accident and the implications of his amnesia too palpable. He hasn’t been rational, and he can allow himself that.

Instead of making the bed for himself he just bunches up the sheets Gabriel had used and puts them in the laundry room. On his way back he veers into their home office, which is more like the room where they keep their laptops and Dean has some binders with papers for his and Benny’s autoshop. In a drawer on what Castiel immediately remembers as his desk he finds photos of his class, of all the little kids he is entrusted with and immediately he is hit with so many memories he has to sit down on the chair.

The more he looks through his photos, the papers he has yet to test the kids with, the little drawings the kids have made him, the more he remembers and when Dean returns to find Castiel crying happy tears there is really nothing Castiel can do but get up and embrace his mate, kissing him sweetly.

“Let me sleep with you in our bed,” he whispers, feeling that it’s important he asks permission considering what Dean has been put through. Yes, Castiel is the one that was in an accident, but Dean is the one that had to suffer through it and knowing how Alphas react to feeling powerless, it’s a testament to Dean’s love for Castiel that he had found strength to carry on anyway.

“Yeah,” Dean answers, voice shaky but his scent telling Castiel just how much the Alpha wants this. “Always, Cas.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Dean feels as he wakes up is complete contentment. He feels safe and warm and as if everything is right in the world. The second thing he feels is horny.

Because of course, with his mate back in his arms, Dean’s body wrapped protectively around the Omega as Cas sleeps peacefully in his embrace, _of course_ Dean’s inner Alpha would feel as if this is the perfect time to revisit this very prominent part of their relationship.

Dean and Cas had pretty early decided that they don’t want pups but man, they are enthusiastic in bed anyway. Dean isn’t one to kiss and tell but when his friends ask him — because Cas’ first impression tends to be prudish — he’s happy to tell them the sex is plentiful and fucking awesome.

“It’ll wear off,” people tell him but damn, it really hasn’t. And for that matter, even if it did Dean doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of his amazing Omega.

Because fuck, Cas had been in a car accident, had been in a coma, had lost a _huge_ part of his memory, and in such a short time he had recovered from almost all of it. Dean’s heart swells with pride and he can feel his inner Alpha posture for his mate’s sake.

Suddenly Cas stirs and of course manages to grind his ass back against Dean’s hard-as-iron cock. He groans involuntarily and the sound fully wakes up Cas. He stiffens for a second and Dean thinks it’s too soon, thinks Cas will pull away again and he won’t be able to deal with that right now. His inner Alpha thirsts for the Omega and Dean himself is desperate for Cas’ warmth and wit to return to him.

But when Cas shuffles around in Dean’s arms, coming face to face with the Alpha, he’s sporting a huge grin.

“Is this for me, Alpha?” he breathes teasingly, hand sneaking down to rub against Dean’s hard cock.

“Fuck,” Dean sighs, closing his eyes and leaning in to nose against Cas’ fluffy hair. “You know it’s for you.”

“And no one else.”

“Fuck no,” Dean opens his eyes, almost expecting Cas to look all serious and whatnot but the Omega just looks drunk on their combined scents, arousal suddenly thick in the air. That sure went fast but it’s not like Dean’s complaining. “You know I can barely spoon with you without getting hard, you just do it for me Cas. So fucking right.”

Cas practically purrs, shuffling closer on the bed so that he’s barely able to move his hand between them but it’s okay. His tantalizing Omega scent is wrapping around Dean and holy fucking _hell_ , Dean hadn’t realized how much he’s missed this. Mostly he’s been concerned with getting Cas the Person back, but now his body is reminding him that getting Cas the Sex God back is a good thing too. A really fucking good thing.

“God, Dean, your scent. How could I doubt you?”

Dean shushes him gently and brushes his hands down the Omega’s back, fingers digging into the meat on Cas’ ass.

“Don’t think about that now,” he murmurs, bumping his nose against Cas’ to get him to turn his head so that they can kiss, morning breath be damned. “Just feel.”

Cas moans when Dean presses his fingers against the Omega’s hole, pleased to find it already wet even through Cas’ pajama pants. They rut against each other, Cas’ hand in the way until he unceremoniously shimmies out of his pants and puts his arms around Dean’s shoulders to get him closer.

Dean rolls to his back, turning them slightly so that Cas ends up draped on top of him and Dean has full access to the Omega’s wonderfully plump ass. Without the pants in the way, Dean is free to push his fingers inside and when he does Cas moans even higher and starts rutting against him. The heat builds quickly between them and when Cas finally manages to free Dean from his own soaked pajama pants Dean’s knot immediately starts to swell.

“Fuck, mate,” he groans, their kisses having turned sloppily and uncoordinated. “You’re so fucking hot.

“Dean, I need you inside,” Cas gasps, grinding hard against Dean’s growing knot. “I _need_ you.”

“Fuck I need you too,” Dean can barely think, the coil in his stomach rolling tighter and tighter. “I thought I had lost you, I-I couldn’t…”

“I’m here, Dean,” Cas moans, planting his face against Dean’s neck and nipping at the mating bite there.

The sensation that goes through Dean’s body is intense, huge and powerful and so fucking _right_. He’d almost lost Cas twice in his life but both times the Omega had returned to him, if that isn’t a sign that Cas is his, Dean doesn’t know what is.

“Cas, I—” he doesn’t manage much more before his orgasm practically explodes out of him. He groans and shudders, fingers plunging deep into Cas’ greedy body and the direct stimulation to his knot ensures that he comes again and again.

Cas just moans throughout, grinding against Dean’s cock, smearing the potent Alpha come between them. Dean is so fucking out of it that he barely notices Cas coming too but he does notice the change in the Omega’s scent. The sweetness of it blooms out, and the way Cas’ ass clenches around Dean’s fingers definitely brings his attention back to the present.

 _“Fuck, I wanted to be inside him,”_ he thinks but there’s no real regret. Not when Cas is smiling like this at him. No, now that Cas is back with him, body and soul, Dean knows that they will have many years more to come and he feels satiated in just lying here and feeling his mate’s weight on him.

After a moment the Omega reaches up and pets Dean’s face lovingly. “I’m with you ‘til the end and you’re with me, right Alpha?” he murmurs sweetly.

“Fucking hell,” Dean breathes, overcome with his afterglow and fucking _feelings_. “You’re fucking right I am.”

Cas’ pleased growl tells Dean that was the correct answer and he slips into a post-orgasmic haze with a pleased grin on his face, knowing that this trial is over and that they survived it; their relationship coming out stronger than ever.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this installment! :D  
> The next part in this series will be up next week. It'll be set a few years into the future and as a little sneak peak I'll reveal that the title will be "The surrogate" ;)  
> Until next we meet, my sweets! <333


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